I Hope This Doesn’t Get Me in Trouble…
January 21st, 2008 by tempe
Let me preface this post with a necessary disclaimer: this is just a joke! I don’t think the following things are really true about most Ron Paul supporters. I actually know a few of his supporters pretty well (check out my buddy Trey’s blog if you want to see him stick up for his candidate, Dr. Paul), and they are final, stable, intelligent, and honorable folks. I have also met a few other of his supporters … and let’s just say I can’t say quite the same thing (secessionists and 9/11 troofers, but otherwise generally nice people). Let me also mention that there’s much about Ron Paul’s political platform that is very appealing: small government, low taxes, constitutional integrity; that’s all good stuff. But sometimes Dr. Paul’s fans can get a little too enthusiastic. Besides, I have to post some sort of an answer to Trey’s recent post of Ron Paul “facts”! 
So, without further ado, here are few fun “facts” about Ron Paul supporters (taken from this website). Enjoy, but don’t take these too seriously.
- Ron Paul supporters are easy to recognize, their signature headgear, when properly applied also keeps fat from dripping on your grill and flaring up. Also his name is Barry.
- Ron Paul supporters not only appear when his name is invoked 3 times, it drives them crazy, an admittedly short trip.
- The Federal Reserve killed most of Ron Paul’s supporters puppies.
- If you’re bitten by a Ron Paul supporter if you don’t become one, you do become a carrier.
- Where do Ron Paul supporters have their meetups? A house of mirrors.
- Ron Paul supporters never get sick and can only be killed by decapitating them. There can be/is only one.
- When Ron Paul returns to the Earth, his followers believe he will restore the constitution so well that the ink will smell wet and also miraculously restore the moat around America to its pre-civil war glory.
- Every time a bell rings a Ron Paul supporter get his mouth very salivated.
- Ron Paul supporters think everyone who doesn’t support him fears him like they fear getting abducted by aliens, again.
- If Ron Paul falls in a forest, his supporter(s) will claim it’s because gravity is inherently unconstitutional.
- Some claim Ron Paul supporters spam online polls, the truth is they just all have the same I.P. address because… Hey! LOOK kittens!
Tim, I hate to say this, but this is an awfully Random satire, and a perfect complement to a satire on the Presidential candidates I recently posted over at my blog. I was feeling uneasy because I left Ron Paul out of my post; you took care of the matter in a brilliant way.
I would not label myself as a “conservative” though I don’t really consider myself a “liberal” either. In fact, I keep looking for a place on the voter registration form for a “difficult person,” but I haven’t found it yet.
However, I would seriously consider voting for a Republican ticket that combined Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee. Good enough reason right there for the COP not to nominate them, but you have to admit the candidates go downhill after them.
Really? A Mormon for President? Get serious.
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